Call Me Jessie
The Man Who Killed Jesus (the Name)
I go by Jessie Gonzalez now.
My passport name is Jesús García González. I was born and raised in Madrid, where Jesús is a common name. Spanish as hell, and Biblical.
Outside Spain, introducing myself became a whole conversation. Meetings, Zoom calls, coffee with someone new: I kept getting the same jokes.
Wait… like Jesus?”
“Are you really named after God?”
“Should I pray to you?”
“Where’s your beard?”
“Do you walk on water too?
No, Pieternela, I don’t.
I write TypeScript. I’m a product designer and researcher. I build research software tools with lots of colors, clean up toddler puke at 2 AM and drink magnesium like a 90-year-old biohacker. There is nothing divine going on here.
Moving to Amsterdam
When I moved to Amsterdam, I expected to deal with a different language and the weather. I hadn’t thought much about introducing myself, let alone how often I’d hear the same joke about my name.
In Spain my nickname is “Curi”, a short version of a longer family name that goes back three generations. My friends and family use it. Here, nobody gets it. I might as well introduce myself as “Wi-Fi Not Detected.” So I stopped trying to make it work here.
Names I considered
I wanted a name people could say without giggling or starting a conversation about religion. I tried a few.
Jes Gonzalez
Close to my real name, short, kinda cool, and no Jesus jokes. It also sounds like a UI element that didn’t load properly. People think it’s short for Jessica, it still gets weird looks, and it doesn’t feel natural out loud.
Jex Gonzalez
Sounds like a cyberpunk DJ who lives in a data center. Unique as hell, easy to find on Google, and I’d have the name to myself. But I’d still have to explain it every time. It feels a bit try-hard when I mostly want to build things and sleep well.
J.G. Gonzalez
Very author-y. Mysterious, cool, good for serious stuff. I might use it if I start writing sci-fi. For now, it feels unfriendly and nobody knows how to say it out loud. I’m building productivity apps, not writing manifestos.
Jessie Gonzalez felt right. People know how to say it, it’s a real name in many cultures, and I don’t get the God jokes.
It still feels close to “Jesús”, and I feel like myself when I say it. It’s just easier to use outside Spain.
It’s kind of plain though and I might meet another Jessie someday and feel weird about it.
So it’s Jessie now, pronounced Jess-ie. That works for me. Let’s see how it holds.
If you know me from back in Spain and still call me Curi, don’t stop. You’re family. That name still means a lot to me.
If we’re meeting through work, the internet, the indie dev scene, or some random productivity forum, call me Jessie Gonzalez.
No sermon. No sandals. Just me, my code, my tools, my kid, and my magnesium pills.
tl;dr
Yo — 🎤
I’m not Jesus, save your prayers,
I don’t float, I climb the stairs.
No robe with beard, no holy flair.
Just code, matcha, and ergonomic chairs.
Can’t turn water into wine,
But I can break production just fine.
No second coming, no grand debut,
“Works on my machine.” Good luck to you.
You want a name that works? Then yes:
It’s Jessie G, no need to guess.
No more gospel, no more stress,
Just Jessie Gonzalez — say it, bless.
Thanks for reading this far. You survived a name change and a rap. No miracles, no refunds.